I spoke to the Lion of Judah in Boston. I asked him Lord show me the way, lead me to the Eightfold Path. He said stop being a pussy and join the Army. I told him HOOAH.
I’m dropping out of the US tech economy at 27. I’m joining the Army, I’m going for the Green Berets. I don’t want to be an office worker anymore, I want to be a bad ass black ops snake eater. Goodbye good riddance and good luck to the rest of you.
You could say, buddy this is cope. You didn’t drop out, you washed out. You couldn’t hack it. And it would be true in a sense. I got fired in July. I told myself I’m gonna lock in for the next couple months and if I don’t have a job I want by the time my lease comes up at the beginning of October then I’ll sell my body to the military. It’s the middle of September now. So I guess I did wash out.
But on the other hand I didn’t get fired for performance. I was a top performer. I got fired because an ex-girlfriend went to HR with my private twitter account (along with other sensitive materials.) And in this interview cycle the past couple months I really did lock the fuck in. Studied my ass off. Went all the way to final round at most of the places I got an initial interview at. I got a couple offers, albeit mediocre ones. Fuck that. I’d rather die in Iran.
There were two places I actually did want to work at, and I got damn close. Two weeks ago I had a final round Tuesday at this prop trading firm in Chicago, and a Thursday final round onsite in Boston at this fintech boutique. At the beginning of the week I prayed. I asked Lord, give me clarity, show me my path. If this is right for me then let me go in and take it. If not then I will take that as a message in and of itself. So I went in there and absolutely killed both interviews. I mean absolutely slaughtered. Left it all on the field. After I finished on Thursday in Boston I felt absolute clarity of mind. I thought, if they don’t hire me after that then that’s God telling me stop being a pussy and join the Army.
The next Wednesday I got two back to back phone calls. Both teams liked me a lot but decided not to move forward. Chicago said I was a very strong developer but had some gaps in SRE concepts which is the role they wanted. Boston said I would have been a strong hire for mid level but they were looking for someone senior.
Lord, your message is received and understood. Thursday morning I went straight to the recruiter.
Regardless of all of this. Whether I can or can’t compete in tech. The point is I don’t want to anymore. I never had any intrinsic passion for this industry in the first place. Finally admitting that to myself feels like freedom. I went to college originally for aerospace engineering and was convinced into software by the money and my father. For five years I’ve coasted solely on natural aptitude. I watch people on tech Twitter grind and network and create amazing projects and I admire it. I can tell they genuinely love this shit. Unfortunately I don’t, and I have never been able to pretend to be something I’m not. I respect the hell out of all of you. But I’m realizing my path is different.
I was born to die in battle. Lifelong athlete and adrenaline junkie. Engineer by training but by birth I’m a warrior, knight, samurai. Direct bloodline of the great Khan. That’s what I’ve always told myself. It’s time to put myself to the test. Am I really who I think I am? Time to find out.
Because I’m 27; I’m in good, maybe even excellent shape. But my body’s not getting any younger. The clock is ticking. I know for a fact if I don’t send this right now then I will live the rest of my life thinking, What if? And that is something I absolutely cannot live with. Amor Fati.
Cause fuck it, I got tech money, crypto money saved up. I got no kids or dependents. Why not send it right now? Why not take on this heroic mission right now? Worst case if shit goes left and I wash out of selection, I’ll just serve a couple years in the infantry with zero expenses. Treat it like rehab, kick a few of my worse addictions, watch my investments print in the meantime.
But what if shit goes right? What if I do make it through selection? What if I become who I was always meant to be? Something more than what I am now, something greater than this half-life I’m floating through like a ghost. If I do make the cut then I’ll disappear off the face of the planet for 7 years and come back one of the most competent and dangerous motherfuckers on the planet. If I make it back alive there’ll probably be less than two hundred people on Earth with a resume like I’ll have. The world will be my oyster.
I’ve always been a betting man. Mr. Take-That-Risk. This is the aura gamble of a lifetime, and I’m going to seize that shit by the balls. Cause I can’t speak for anyone else, but for me personally? I think my odds are pretty decent.
So I’m leaving it all behind. The money, the girls, the fun, all of it. I have tasted every fruit of Babylon and found them all bitter. There is nothing left for me here.
I asked God to show me my path and he did. The path is narrow and winding. But to whom much is given much is tested.
I’ll be in Ft. Bragg in the wilderness with Jesus and the devil if you want to find me.